Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

who’s at fault?

I was almost 3 years with my boyfriend. We broke up beacuse he moved out of the country, he came back to visit and we decided to meet and hangout with another person i had a past with.. a woman (we were still very good friends) All three of us were very drunk and went back to his place, i took off my pants and went to sleep, i wake up and they are both naked etc and pull me in. I didnt know what was happening or what to do. 30 minutes in i gained consciousness of what was happening and put my clothes on, i pulled my other female friend out (she was yhe worst by far, she couldn't walk and cannot remember a thing) I know him, them or i thought i did. I was so confused and scared, i told myself it was my fault for months that i had too many drinks. I'm still torn and not believed by my "tightest friends" i feel so alone.


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One thought on “who’s at fault?

  • Ellen says:

    I’m so sorry that happened to you. But even if you had drunk so much you couldn’t realize what was happening, it’s not your fault. People (even exes) are supposed to take care of you, not put you in situations where you don’t know what you’re doing. I think it was very brave of you to pull the other woman away. You saved her from being further taken advantage of. Even if all three of you were drunk, what you wrote says that you didn’t initiate anything. You were pulled into it without being aware, and that is definitely not your fault. Sending good vibes.