What did he do to me? What do i do?? (content note)
I dated a guy for 3 months we never touched or did anything physical when i met him for the first time he kissed me eve though i said no. He kept touching me and fingering me i told him to stop but he kept going. I tried to fight off the pleasure because I didn't want him to think that i want him to keep going! I was on top of him trying to avoid contact he did not like it so he went on top of me so that I couldn't move. I never touched a guy before in my whole life it was all new and overwhelming. I told him to stop but he kept rubbing his thing on top of my cloths then he sucked my nipples and i told him no but he kept going. I was fighting the pleasure and because i've never been in this position before i thought embarrassed from my reaction. After he did that i gave in then he stopped. I burst our crying shaking and sobbing i was cold the whole time and shivering i couldnt stop crying he said that he was sorry and i dont know why i told him that it was not his fault and that ot was mine. I felt extremely guilty. Instead of dumping him i found myself very drawn to him not emotionally but in away that i wantef to do anything to make it work. I wanted ro justify what i think i did by at least makeinv it work between us. I felt that he owns me somehow. the next time we met, i told him that i did not wanna do anything deep. But we did it all cause he wouldn't listen to me when i say no. He would get mad and i felt that i was obligated to say yes. I finally broke up with him the day after we met and it was clear that he did not mind i mean he took all what he wanted anyways. And i cant forget what he did whenever someone touches me I remember him and i start crying again. I dont know what is wrong with me! I feel used weak and. worthless.
We do NOT give permission for posts to be reproduced, translated or otherwise published elsewhere. We will not contact people who submit their personal experiences on behalf of journalists, bloggers or other third sector organisations. These testimonies remain the intellectual copyright of their authors and must be treated with the ethical guidelines used by academics for research involving human subjects. Our full guidelines can be read here.