Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

was it rape?

A long time ago I was in my first relationship, we had been together for almost a year and we're living together. One afternoon we started to have consensual vaginal sex. Half way threw I felt my partner withdraw and felt a sharp pain. He had started, in knowingly to me, penetrate my anus. We were face to face, he did not ask me. And I spent the rest of the incident crying in pain. However he did not seem to care. At no point did I consent to this and I was obviously in pain. I was crying. However he just continued. I didn't tell him to stop, for fear he would be disapoinyed in me. But is this rape?


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One thought on “was it rape?

  • Admin says:

    Yes. This was rape. You consented to vaginal sex; not anal sex. A lack of consent makes it rape. That he saw you in pain and continued shows that he did not care about you.

    I am so sorry for your experience. Below are the freephone numbers for the UK national rape crisis helplines. There are local rape crisis centres across the UK. Whether or not you choose to call, please remember that we believe you. And he had not right to hurt you the way he did.

    Rape Crisis Scotland: http://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk
    Freephone 08088 01 03 02
    (Every day, 6pm to midnight)

    Rape Crisis England/ Wales: http://rapecrisis.org.uk
    Freephone 0808 802 9999
    (12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm every day, and 3-5.30pm weekdays)