Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Verbal abuse, emotional rape (content note)

You presented yourself as a pure and innocent person. You did a really good job of making everyone feel sorry for you.

I took care of you, I loved you and I thought you loved me too. You made me feel so good and special about myself. I used to trust you unconditionally.

Before I knew it, I was involved in a company you were trying to start. I cared about you deeply and believed in you so I did everything I could to help you with your company.

Before I knew it I became like your servant and you bossed me around night and day, but I put up with it because you manipulated me so well.

You exhausted me so bad, and then I finally reached my breaking point when you demanded that I give you thousands of dollars for your company.

I refused to give you the money, and then you turned on me calling me horrible names and harassing me via text for nearly 12 hours. I had to call the police because I was so scared but the police couldn't do anything because technically you didn't threaten my life.

I tried to tell my friends what you did, and they just said it was no big deal, and soon after that they ignored my texts and phone calls.

I believe what you did to me was not only verbal abuse, but also emotional rape because you got close enough to me to see my deepest insecurities and the purest part of my soul and then you used my insecurities against me and ripped my soul apart.

Some days I feel spiritually dead. I'm not the same person I used to be. I feel like I cannot trust anyone ever again.

Because of you I've suffered many health problems, including ulcers, unexplainable chronic pain, insomnia and nightmares.

I still deal with guilt and shame daily, even though I know I did nothing wrong.

I hope one day I'll completely heal, but emotional scars take longer to heal than physical scars.


ADMIN NOTE: We understand the reason for the comparison, but we believe it's important to use the correct legal language when labelling experiences. It's important for women, men and children who have experienced rape to be able use that word without it being used in other contexts. Equally, it's very important that emotional abuse be understood as a serious crime in and of itself. Far too often the consequences of emotional abuse are minimized and ignored. Women living with emotional abuse need for their experiences to be understood as a form of violence against women and girls and that it is a crime that will treated with the appropriate severity by the criminal justice system.


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