Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse


When I was 6 years old, there was a man who hung out around the back of my playground. One day he called me over to the fence and talked to me. At first, he would just talk. After a while, he asked me to come under the fence so he could show me his new camper van. As kids, you're told not to go anywhere with strangers. But by this point, we weren't strangers. I slipped under the fence and joined him.

I did this every day. You see, my parents (although lovely) were very busy people and I had no friends. So I told him all my secrets and he made me feel better.

One day a girl broke a pipe at the school. She said I did it but I didn't. None of the teachers believed me. When I got home, my Mum was furious. Everything was so horrible.

When I went into school the next day, I joined the man under the fence and he said he believed me. He gave me a hug and he made me feel valid when everyone else was so cruel.

He hugged me and I told him he made me feel better. He wriggled around a bit and then he said I could make him feel better.

He manipulated me as a child into performing sexual acts and I'm so confused because what he did was wrong but up until then, he made my life slightly more bearable.


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