Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Never thought that police could treat you so badly again and again

I have written a couple of times feel so disheartened with my local police and their attitudes about Sexual abuse and rape. They have sent me inapproiate email's and twitter about rape bullying me because I was going to make a complaint to the IPPC. I even tried to speak to a commander of the police force down in London to mediate for me with the chief constable but to no he made out I was mentally ill not really listening to me just like today that's the professionals how their making me out to be crazy. They camp at the back of my house making out their safeguarding me but to spy on me. I took my local hospital trust to the parliamentary ombudsman and they upheld my complaint because a shrink called me a liar because she told professionals including the police and social services I was lying and my husband rape me because of this. The local authority and the trust were supposed to change documents about what was said about my abuse but they tried to hide it but I had copies of everything. One of the letter's I have is of a chief inspectorate who called me a liar after I complained about the officers conduct in my case when I complained earlier to the IPPC and Merseyside police didn't upheld my case. Recently I tried to go back to Merseyside police to reopen and they said I didn't make a complaint about my ex and we never lived at that property. Two weeks later I received a call from Merseyside police from a police station in Liverpool saying they investigated the rape but I have documents from my local Wirral borough council in a child protection meeting saying that social services spoke to the nurse from a ward and she documented the date down that I was raped and in the meeting the social services had said it's documented down that Merseyside Police never ever spoke to the nurse. Merseyside police made negative comments on Sunday about rape to me on twitter and apologise on the news on Monday.

I have asked to speak to the chief constable but he won't meet with me saying he never meets with the public but I feel well I am a law abiding citizen if I was rich or powerful would he meet me then. I have been bullied outside my home on twitter and by email with organisations like Safe guarding organisation who at first seem to want to help me then bullied me and ignored me on twitter they met with me at RASA and lied I have numerous emails from them saying they would advocate and help me fight these people in court then they made it worse and distressed me the manger director said she would help me set up a case and they would phone me twice a week to see if I was ok and support me they did nothing except lie to RASA I personally think because they work for the police now and never wanted to help and support anyway this organisation has been given funding to operate I guess on the back of not helping me or advocating for me and my children she has decided her organisations needs money to expand. The police follow me all around because their not safeguarding me their using this to gather information to try and discredited me. They want to hurt me even more anyway they can to destroy me they play games with my head and because I have mental health problems they can make excuses and say she's crazy it's all in her head just like how my husband used to play games with me psychological torture and they don't care how they hurt me or my kids these people who are so called professionals I guess wish I was dead I have gone from one controlling relationship to go to another with the police and also the local authority and the trust I complained about. The police have abused the power of privacy I am no danger to anyone I have no criminal record I am not a terrorist but I am still treated if I a danger when it's the other way around their a danger to me, my children.

Why I have seen the bad side of the police through this but I see other police officers on twitter who are good and sometimes I feel I'm being manipulated to see that police officers are good decent human beings. On the X where I live I have saw some good officers but not sure anymore because they like playing games like psychological torture just like my husband the chief constable doesn't really care how his officers treat me or my kids to some it';s a joke i'm a joke my feeling's are just a joke. I see now that they never wanted to investigate my rape or my childhood abuse they were all playing games with my head they didn't care about my feelings or what happened to me. As long as the truth was hidden in my case it would always be hidden I now not sure anymore about the police and how they treat women this is also how women police officers treat victims of rape as well I had one come in to the supermarket glaring at to try and intimidate me as well. I have seen the negative side of the police and it doesn't look nice. If were labelled with a disability or have alcohol or drug problems which I I don't drink or take drugs they don't believe you when your rape or abused. In my case they believed a shrink they believed the local authority and they didn't believe me. I guess i'm just a label a number a static not a human being I have no more faith in any police now they just manipulated me like my husband did they abused me because they can and they laughed at me behind closed doors and in the cars because I was naïve enough to think they would respect me believed me but all they did was laugh in my distress laugh at me in my emotional state and play more games because they can and they can destroy other human beings with one word one look or they way they are with people.

I have no criminal record I am a Christian I try to live a good life I have anger problems and when I m angry swear like a trooper I can be unkind and others are unkind to me. I DON;T deserve how they have treated me and my kids they have shown me that power is corrupt their is one law for them and one law for us I saw good in the police but now I have only seen poor behaviour towards me and my kids I have now seen a worse the police can do do destroy another human being.

My pain and the rape and abuse I suffered in my marriage was soul destroying another soul destroying thing was to stand and say I didn't lie and had to go through a complaint procedure endure humiliation in meetings with local social services threatened to have my kids taken away. To take the trust through to the parliamentary ombudsman, taken my husband to court to protect us with an undertaken from him because I couldn't get a non molestation order got this then the social services bullied me in a child protection meeting to then go to the police to be treated in this inhumane way as a victim of rape and abuse to them carry on intimidating me after I told the lantern project I took them to the IPPC for them to bully and abuse me after this information came to light to be treated as any person suffering from this crime. To be humiliated in this way from the local police and others is soul destroying disheartening and I feel so sad I will never trust others human beings again ever sometimes I wish I was back in that relationship the better the devil you no than the devil you don't.

All I have seen is nobody cares and others hate me for standing up for myself, hate me for being me. I wish the police would see how they treat women who have been raped understand what we have been through but all I see is where second class citizens and abuse at your will. All I see at the end of this is my life is destroyed. I have no friends I have just started a new degree but at what cost I can't trust others all I see that others want to hurt and abuse me sometimes I wish he had killed me but then where would my beautiful children be where would they go to a local authority who have abuse them as much as me. To an uncaring world that see's rape as the women's fault to see that men can take at their will when they are married to us. I have been labelled, dehumanised, discarded, blamed, bullied, intimidated all for what to stand up for my rights as a women a mother to say I hadn't lied I had told the truth to be treated with such disregard from other humans, women and men because they have a power to destroy another person's life.

Why fight when all around you just want to destroy you your life, your children, how sad that our society, the powerful, the corrupt treat others with little disregard for human life to put another human in a box and destroy. Laugh at the pain, laugh at the frustration, laugh at the anger their mental distress and walk away and feel good because they have destroyed another. I am not perfect and I will never be but I still have my strength my honesty and my integrity they tried to take that away all of them but I still have these they took everything else and nearly my children but these they can never had because it's a part of me it's a part of my fight to be free and to have justice not only for me but for my beautiful children, who they taken away support so they can't talk about what has happened to them from their dad, they won't give my son proper assessments so he can get help and support at school denying him a good education denying him a future my daughter because she has emotional problems they won't give her someone to talk to this is how a cruel local authority, police and the trust I complained about have been to my two children. Two kids who can't stand up for themselves this is how these people have been so cruel and unkind to my kids. WHO would you trust after these people call themselves caring, kind supportive to families when they nearly tried to destroy me and my kids because I stood up to them. My kids have nothing to do with this but they think they do. So I see that don't bother going to local authorities to get help because they judge put you down and try to take your kids while playing mind games. I say I had good care in a different part of the country so I have had good care and bad in mental health. I say to others still go to the police and report rape and abuse but always take someone with you for support when meeting them. You have a right to say no it's your body you have a right even to say nothing it's your body and you have a right to say no and be safe in your marriage and it's still your body. So thank you for reading my pain my sadness and part of my life that has nearly destroyed me at times I sometimes wish my life was better but for now this is what it is.


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