Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

My girlfriend blames me for my past sexual abuse

I am a female in year 11. When I was in year 8 a boy followed me home everyday for 2 months, come into my house and touch me in places I didn't want him to. I would fight him off to my ability but he was much stronger and one day he attempted rape. To my relief my brother knocked on my door since he could hear me crying but he was only 9 so I told him we had an argument. I didn't have the guts to tell my mother but I managed to find a way to avoid him by running home and locking everything. I only told her recently. I am a girl who likes other girls and when I told my partner she told me how stupid I am and how I could've stopped him. How I had a choice. She's blaming me and won't listen to anything i say. I don't know what to do anymore.
Thankyou for reading I just needed to get things off my chest.


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One thought on “My girlfriend blames me for my past sexual abuse

  • Admin says:

    You are not responsible for being a victim of sexualised violence. The perpetrator is solely to blame and your girlfriend is simply wrong. There are a number of specialist support organisations in the UK that can help you. Please reach out to one of them. And, remember: this is not your fault and we believe you.

    These are the free phone numbers for the national rape crisis organisations in the UK. The phone lines are staffed by trained volunteers who are there to listen. You can also find local support services on their websites.

    Rape Crisis Scotland: http://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk
    Freephone 08088 01 03 02
    (Every day, 6pm to midnight)

    Rape Crisis England/ Wales: http://rapecrisis.org.uk
    Freephone 0808 802 9999
    (12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm every day, and 3-5.30pm weekdays)