Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Man behind the mask

I was with a guy in ---- NC who I met almost 3 years ago who later on down the road I found out he was married and lied the entire time. Said he was embarrassed and that he tried to leave her many years ago. Said he was forced to marry her 17 years ago, stayed with her cause they had a dog together then was forced to have a child with her by her controlling ----- mother. I tried to leave him. I felt hurt and then he begged for forgiveness. His wife discovered who I was cause she had access to to his cellphone and read a few messages. I was surprised she had full access. I was under his male friends in his phone as Dale. Like 2 Dales in his phone. He told her I was someone who he met at the shop when he used to own ---- . Not true we met at ----- Park while I was exercising. He later confessed he stalked me at the park then came around me. So he said nothing has been going on between his wife and him for a long time. I forgave him and stayed. He said he would leave her, that turned into 3 months later she wanted him out of the house. So middle of March 2015 I discovered the man of ---- descent I was with had dating profile sites up. His screen name he used for everything such as eBay and YouTube was the same for match.com and POF. I was shocked again. Said he doesn't know why he was looking for other women. Tried to make me stay again. Anyways to make a long story short the man ended up being a compulsive liar, sociopath, misogynistic, psychopath, cheater and woman beater. Has all the athletes in town that he didn't succeed with fooled. Would expose all of his personal affairs about his so called friends he didn't see much but his own. A charmer with a mask, threatened my life and to harm my children if I went to police. He tried to make up for all of the abuse but would be the same again. Very verbally abusive, master mind if mental cruelty. An evil soul. Tried to make me suffer cause I told him how he was. Very vulgar man. Not the innocent one I met at the park. I treated him well, put nice clothes on him, spoiled his daughter I wasn't allowed to be around also. He ruined it all and tried hard to ruin me. Very jealous, insecure and told me how to do my makeup which was weird. If I dressed nice he always thought I was with a man. Said men are better than women and he's the hardest working man he knows. Would talk negatively about his employees then negative about me to them which was appalling cause I'm the only one who truly knows him. He's 47 and has a 6 year old daughter ---- he says he can't stand. Obsessed with porn, has friends that are with escorts and I caught him researching local escorts. He did all this while supposed to be entertaining his daughter. Would throw the I love you out all the time. I tried to make him better but he drove me up the wall with abuse. His new ------- company drains him and I would get the bad days of torment. He never takes responsibility for his actions instead he lies. Beat me up bad on many occasions. I left him for good.


* some details have been redacted to protect the privacy of the writer.

Comments are currently closed.