Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Is It Rape?

One night me and my boyfriend were having sex, but it began to hurt so I told him to stop and he didn't. I didn't push him or scream and he didn't force me down, but I said no a few times and he just replied 'shhh it's ok' but eventually he did stop after I kept saying no
This was about a year and a half into our relationship and we were together for three years as a whole; we've been separated for half a year now but since that night I haven't been able to stop thinking about it... did he rape me?
I know he didn't force me, but I still feel horrible thinking about it and it just feels so wrong...

please give your opinions


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2 thoughts on “Is It Rape?

  • Katie says:

    Sorry this happened to you Chloe. Yes it was rape. He should have stopped when you asked him to stop. Stopping eventually is not good enough. You have the right to decide if and when to stop and they need to stop straight away. It’s not a contract you sign that you can’t get out of, or a ride that cannot be stopped. He had an obligation to stop when you stopped consenting. After that it was rape. I stayed with my boyfriend after he raped me as well. It doesn’t change what happened. I am not surprised that you can’t stop thinking about it. I hope you can get some help with this. The Rape Crisis helpline are very good and you don’t need to be in crisis.

  • Yes, he did rape you. The first time he heard you ask him to stop and he chose to ignore you, it became rape.