Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

is it considered rape? (content note for graphic description)

I had fallen asleep early and woke up at 2 in the morning from many missed phone calls and text from the guy i use to have a thing with who also took my virginity. He called again so i answered to see why he was calling, he told me he was near my house ( even though i never told him where i live) and asked me to come meet him at the store and i repeatidly said no its too late but he insisted i come just to have a smoke with him and i told him fine we'll have a smoke but thats it then im going home and he said okay. When i got to the store i relized he was drunk but we had a smoke anyways, he asked to go on a walk, we walked down the street and then turned down an alley i thought nothing of it. We finally were behind some building and he started kissing me and i didnt really mind but then he pushed me down to the grown assuming i would suck his dick. I said i didn't want to but he put it in my mouth anyways and held the back of my head so i couldnt stop.. i stood up and said i wanted to go home but then he pulled my pants down and started to rape me i said stop many times, but i was so scared for some reason i didn't yell.. i pushed him away and said i was going home but he grabbed me bent me over and pressed me against the wall so i couldnt move while he fucked me but i ws silent because i was so scared so after it was all done and i was in such shock i walked out of the alley with him and he just kissed me and walked the other way as i was walking home i was crying and thought to myself he probably doesnt even think this was rape because i didnt say anything after, i never yelled, i could of fought harder and i think to myself im strong enough to of stopped it but i did tell him to stop so is it even rape? i havent spoken to him since and never reported it..


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4 thoughts on “is it considered rape? (content note for graphic description)

  • elisa hill says:

    You told him to stop, more than once, Yes he raped you, he knew you had not consented, and it didn’t matter to him.You did not yell because you were frozen in fear and did the best thing you could do, got away.Well done! i know it is so hard to believe that it is happening, that someone you trusted is doing this, i have been through the same thing, he was someone i trusted, and my other female friends trusted too.I am so sorry this has happened to you,Go to the police, and take to a counsellor, and your friends.

  • Admin says:

    What he did was rape. You did not consent. You did nothing to deserve this and you did everything within your power to prevent it. He made an active choice to commit rape and it is most definitely not your fault. Please be kind to yourself.

    Here are the freephone numbers of Rape Crisis. You can reach out to them at any time to speak by phone or they can assist you in finding a local support service if that is what you want.

    Rape Crisis Scotland: Freephone 08088 01 03 02
    (Every day, 6pm to midnight)

    Rape Crisis England/ Wales: Freephone 0808 802 9999
    (12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm every day, and 3-5.30pm weekdays)

  • Jo Wood says:

    You have actually described more than one rape in this account. Yes it is rape. You did not want any of what happened. Being drunk is simply an excuse, not a reason. If he was too drunk to know what he was doing, he would be unlikely to be capable of rape. Don’t doubt yourself here. You did nothing wrong at any point. He made all the wrong choices, not you.

  • Zoe Durnford says:

    I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It wasn’t your fault, you did nothing to deserve this and you’re not alone.

    As the others have said this is rape, and he shouldn’t get away with it. There are people who can help you – like Rape Crisis. They can also tell you what you can do and how to report it – you can do this at any time even if it was a long time ago (but the sooner the better the chance of conviction).

    Please call them or have a look online: http://rapecrisis.org.uk/ifyouvejustbeenraped.php