im so confused. (content note for rape)

November 23, 2017, jessica, Personal Experiences,

last night I had a horrible experience and afterwards, I felt almost assaulted. my husnand of 9 years, has always been very needy when it came to sex. last night we were laying down watching a movie, and a commercial came on and he flipped me over and pulled my panites down. than tried going down on me. I stopped him bc I wasn't in the mood. than he got angry bc I refused and said I " put his dick to sleep" and got angry and left the room. I put my panties back on, and fell asleep. I heard him come back into the room but was in and out of sleep. but when I felt the bed shacking I fully woke up but kept my eyes closed. than I realized what he was doing. he was masturbating while watching porn while I laid there and slept. while I was sleeping, he put his finger inside me and flipped me around and threw a blanket over my face and started having sex with me while he watched porn. I just laid there. I made no movements, no sounds. he continued to have sex with me while my face was covered and watching porn with my life less body for about 5 minutes, than pulled out and ejaculated on me. he then got off the bed and put his boxers back on and so I got up and put my panties back on and went to the bathroom and had my very first panick attack. I woke up in a daze and feeling assaulted. im in a world wind right now and I have no one to talk to. im not sure if these feelings are normal.

 

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