I was sexually assaulted by a coworker

November 7, 2017, Anonymous, Personal Experiences,

Hello,

About 6 months ago I was sexually assaulted by my co-worker. This 'person'took advantage of me when I was very drunk and possibly drugged.I had been working with him for about a year and after about 6 months he started to sexually harass me. At first I took it as innocent infatuation and brushed it off telling him that I was married and had no interest. After a while the harrrassment became worse. I had recently been promoted and felt embarrassed of the situation so I did not initially tell my employer about it hoping he would clue in and stop. At one point I told another co-worker that he was making me uncomfortable and that I wanted him to talk to him about it. He did but for unrelated issues had to leave the company. After he left it got even worse I was asked about it by the human resource lady who sensed something was off and told her that He was making unwanted sexual based comments and following me around. I told her at the time that I wanted to handle it myself.I didn't want to endanger my newly aquired position in the company with drama. I was pretty good friends with his friends and sometimes went to lunch with all three of them. He would as me to go to lunch with him alone I always made sure that the other two came along with. One evening after a big audit was passed I was invited by the other two to go out for drinks with about 20 other coworkers. The 'person' was also there. I went and got very very drunk. I didn't pay for one drink as they kept buying me drinks. After a while one of the two friends that invited me and who was my ride home stated that they were going back to the other friends apartment for more drinks.As he was my ride home I agreed. When we got there I was handed a screwdriver that seemed to be premade I took one sip said I didn't like it and remember slumping down on the floor beside the couch and blacked out. When I came too I was alone with the 'person'. I asked where the other two were and he stated he didn't know that they were just gone. I felt very uncomfortable and drunk and made my way to the bathroom. When I exited the 'person' was outside the door and pushes me inside the adjacent bedroom. When I hit the bed I knew what he was up to and told him that I did not want to have sex with him. He laughed and lay down beside me I felt very sleepy and out of it at that point. He started to pull my pants off I was able to grab them on the way down and partially pull them back up but lacked the coordination to successfully do so as I was very drunk he then forced himself on me. I managed to kick him off on three occasions during this but I could not get up I told him several times to stop but he didn't say anything as I can recall. Eventually as I felt that The two 'friends' weren't around to save me I simply let him finish what he was doing. He eventually stopped when they returned and interuppted him. I was too ashamed and inebriated to say anything and eventually got myself together and asked my 'friend' to take me home. I was extremely confused and shocked the day afterwards. I told my husband what had happened. But because I was so ashamed of myself for getting so wasted and ignoring the sexual harassment at work he felt I had cheated on him when I tried to explain it to him. I reported it to the police 2 days after the incident but was advised that if I were to officially charge him that it could take up to 4 years with no guarantees. I was told I could instead put a protection order called a pleacebond on him to keep him away from me. I felt this was the best option for me and my family because I didn't (and still dont) want to give anymore of my life to this horrible person. I informed my employer of what was going on. Initially they hesitated in letting him go but as I gave them a detailed list of all the sexual harassment that had occurred eventually decided to fire him. I worked there for 2 months before they laid me off due to 'restructuring'. I am very depressed and angry I just don't know what to do. My husband says he wants to go get help because he can't stop thinking that I cheated on him. I'm getting help through my councillor but can't seems to get past this.

 

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