Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

I was raped

I was raped 2 weeks ago. I had joined my colleagues for a braai and had a few drinks. Later that night one of my male colleagues invited two boys which one of them is in grade 12.
By the time they arrived I was already out of it. I had a blackout and woke up the next morning only to find out that both of those boys had slept with me. I was devastated because my female colleague told me that I had led one of them upstairs to my room and asked for it. I later found out that one of my male colleagues had given the condom for the grade 12 learner to use and incouraged him to sleep with me.
I phoned my boyfriend first and told him face to face what had happened. This was two days ago. Today he left me and my heart is broken.


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5 thoughts on “I was raped

  • Admin says:

    I am so sorry this happened to you. It was not your fault and the behaviour of your male colleagues is as criminal as the two boys who raped you.
    Your boyfriend’s behaviour is also appalling. You did nothing to deserve this and the only people responsible are the perpetrators. Please remember that.

    This is the number for Rape Crisis England/ Wales. They have specially trained volunteers who can offer you support: 0808 802 9999

  • Jean Hatchet says:

    I am so very sorry to hear this horrible story. You are in no way to blame. Whatever you did the choice to rape you is with those who raped and those who assisted. Any decent human would have stopped it. You weren’t capable of giving consent no matter what you said whilst intoxicated. So it was rape. I hope you take the advice above and seek some help from professionals. I really am very sorry. Best wishes JH

  • Heather Downs says:

    so sorry to hear this.
    sending best wishes for your continued recovery

  • Alithea Joseph says:

    I am so sorry to hear such a horrible thing has been done to you – you are in no way to blame.

    Sending you positive and healing vibes – I know life may seem very dark right now but you will get through it.

    I agree with the above advice too.

    And please know that it was not your fault, these boys have committed a crime against you and they are completely in the wrong.

    Please don’t blame yourself.

    And I am so sorry about your heartbreak but you will gain strength in time 🙂

  • Pacomius says:

    your experience is a very sad one. anyone who reasons properly should know that being drunk is not an invitation to sex. rape is ANY form of sexual action with the consent of the other: no one can ever reasonably claim to have consent from a person who is drunk or passed out. try to contact the nearest rape crisis centre. you must find your inner strength because your healing must take root in your heart.

    i am sorry your boyfriend left your: but if he could not stand by you at a hard time like this then i am very certain that he never deserved you in the first place. infact it is better he left (i only wished he left in a more reasonable manner and at a better time). but right now you sure do NOT need poisonous people around you. what you need now are people you can rely on, who will stand by you come sun come shine.

    try to move on and focus more on your inner healing. you have a whole life ahead of you, and you would not want a bunch of unhealthy people to sour it up.