I was raped (content note)
I was raped. It was a devastating experience for me. My virginity was tooken from me never allowing me to experience giving my virginity to a man I truly loved. I was at a party liqour was provided and I was drunk. I proceeded to go to bed in the living room alone. All the guest left but one came back and came in due to the fact the door was unlock. He proceeds to lay next to me but I told him he couldn't lay under the blanket. He then decided to get under the blanket pull down my pants I told him no and tried to push him off but I was weak from being intoxicated. I was shocked like is this how I'm losing my virginity? As he insert his penis in me and thrush in me about a few minutes I scraped up enough strength to lie my way out of getting him off of me. I told him I had to use the bathroom. Once he was off of me I locked myself in the bathroom until I heard him leave. It hurts because he now have kids by a family member and claims he was my first. I hate him. I still feel horrified everytime I see him. I just get filled with rage and want to attack him. I hate him!!!!!!
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What a terrible experience. No wonder you are so hurt and angry. Is there anyone you could talk to? Maybe find a rape crisis centre? If you wanted that it is possible, even if this is a long time ago, that he could be prosecuted. What ever you decide remember that you are a strong person who has survived. The thoughts of many women are with you. Take care