I was blamed for his violence
When I was a teenager in the 2000s my mothers' boyfriend lived with us and emotionally abused me for 3 years. One night he tried to physically attack me (his friends had to hold him back). After this I insisted that he leave the house, which happened.
Although it was over, my mother could never hold this man responsible for his actions. She came up with so many reasons why it was my fault or her fault but she had no framework for even considering that he was to blame. I found this enormously stressful and upsetting and our mother-child relationship has never recovered. Victim blaming hurts. Perpetrators must be held accountable.
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