Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

I don’t know if it was rape

We were camping, he was drunk and he kept grabbing my breasts I'd push his hands off and 2 seconds later they'd be back. I told him maybe we shouldn't and don't do things you'll regret and then he asked me to go in the camp with him, I know I'm an idiot and that I shouldn't have but I couldn't hurt his feelings and it was his birthday too I can't hurt people I hate hurting people. And whilst we're in the tent he keeps trying to put his hands down my pants and I tell him no and I give him excuses but its never enough and he has a response for everything and anything I did wasn't enough. He asked me to give him head I shrugged I told him maybe we shouldn't and I kept repeating don't do something you'll regret but it wasn't enough. Later we had full on intercourse I didn't want to I tried so hard but I didn't want to hurt him. He was one of my closest friends I thought I could trust him I feel broken and betrayed and like its all my fault. Is it? You know he messaged me saying he's disgusted at me and that I should have stopped him and to not tell anyone cause its embarrassing for him. I should have tried harder I guess it really is all my fault I don't know if it was rape or not but it was my fault either way


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One thought on “I don’t know if it was rape

  • Admin says:

    This was rape and it was not your fault. He has no right to blame your for his choice to commit rape. He has no right to threaten you or try to silence you.

    The only person responsible is the rapist. You did nothing wrong. Please know this was not your fault and that we believe you.

    These are the free phone numbers for the national rape crisis organisations in the UK. The phone lines are staffed by trained volunteers who are there to listen. You can also find local support services on their websites.

    Rape Crisis Scotland: http://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk
    Freephone 08088 01 03 02
    (Every day, 6pm to midnight)

    Rape Crisis England/ Wales: http://rapecrisis.org.uk
    Freephone 0808 802 9999
    (12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm every day, and 3-5.30pm weekdays)