Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Forget Dinner/White Label Dating

We have received this as a comment & re-published it as a submission to share it to a wider audience.

I joined a dating site called Forget Dinner because I needed to be discreet my profile showed only a picture of my fully clothed torso. I didn't want to be identified for a number of reasons.

As part of my profile I made it clear that I did not want to be contacted by any man who had any pics of his exposed penis on his profile and that I considered this to be unacceptable.  A man contacted me who had done this and I explained as per my profile I would not be taking it any further.

His first reaction was to call me a DAMN BITCH (shouty capitals).  Then he asked why I had joined a site called Local Slappers.  It was only at that point I realised that profiles from a number of dating sites with different names, were all filtered into one place.  Without my knowing it my profile was appearing on a site called Local Slappers! and it was exposing me to men who think of women in these terms.

I complained to the site and to trading standards apparently it is stated, buried no doubt, in their terms and conditions of White Label Dating that they could do this.  Trading Standards could do nothing and neither did the site owners tackle this man for his abuse they said they would "keep an eye on him"

A dating a site exists called Local Slappers and a certain sort of man with certain expectations joins it and yet the women whose profiles they are getting access to have no idea that this is the case.  I genuinely believe it dangerous and setting women up to be abused, as I was (verbally) and potentially much worse.  It is such a perjorative term and clearly his view of women was far from healthy.



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