Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse


Thankyou for posting these experiences. I am still coming to terms with some of the things that I have been through. I noticed changes in him long before I finally got the courage to walk away, he tried everything to have control over my life contacted my boss and attempted to ruin my career and cohersed me into things I didnt want to do. I know this might seem like a stupid question but how do I break away completely from him, even after 14 months of walking away he tries to control me claiming I am the one who has made him suffer and I apparently owe him and he has people spying on me so knows my movements im too scared to go to the police for fear of what he will do to me he has already made threats to cause trouble. Any help and advice would be appreciated thanks x


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One thought on “escaping

  • Admin says:

    I’m very sorry that your ex-partner is continuing to attempt to control you through stalking and harassment. There are a number of organisations that can offer support or advice.

    The National Domestic Violence hotline run by Women’s Aid and Refuge can help: 0808 2000 247

    The organisation Rights of Women (http://rightsofwomen.org.uk) also has a support line as well as information on your legal rights.

    If you live in England or Wales, you can access support and legal advice through Paladin (http://paladinservice.co.uk). Their phone number is 020 3866 4107.

    You need a journal in which to log every single harassment and specific threats with date and time, as well as the names of any witnesses. It is not uncommon for perpetrators to use family and friends to continue the stalking and harassment so do log all of those incidents as well. In England and Wales, there are only need to be two incidents of harassment for the police to caution a perpetrator. Please reach out to the above organisations for support and proper legal advice. If you do choose to report, they can help you. If you don’t, they can also offer support.