Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

confused (content note)

I trusted him.. a new relationship that destroyed me. He was different n kind than other guys I dated before, one day he said I should visit him n I went to his place. I sat on the bed since there wasn't any chairs then we kissed, I then told him I will not have sex with him n he said:okay! As we were kissing he started touching me all over so i said he should stop that he then replied:"nothin will happen". So I carried on kissing him, he got on top of him and said "I want you" I told him to get off me he refused and started taking of my underwear I told him No so many times nd I put my hand on my private part trying to prevent him from penetrating then he took my Hands n held dem tight nd Did what he wanted to do...I was so shocked didn't know how to respond to that then when he was done started apologizing for using force nd said he couldn't resist me.. did he really rape me ??


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2 thoughts on “confused (content note)

  • Katie says:

    Yes he did rape you. One “no” would have been enough to make it rape. You made it extremely clear you were not consenting and he lied saying nothing would happen. I am so sorry. You are not alone in this. Rape Crisis are very helpful to talk to. Quite often rapists apologize to stop you from reporting them but they don’t mean it. By saying that he couldn’t resist you it’s like he is blaming you in a way and it’s not a genuine apology – it’s rubbish – any man can resist anyone. It wasn’t your fault in any way – it is completely his fault and his choice to rape you. Sending love and healing.

  • Yes, he did rape you. And yes, he could have resisted his urge to rape. He chose not to.