been assaulted by ex. friend
long ago as age of 13 about 11 years ago (can't remember much anymore.) i was sexually assaulted by this one boy. i was a young teen boy as well. i was with my brother and the kid. we were playing video games and he started touching my dick. My brother kept telling him to stop and i kept moving his hands away. he then told my brother to leave by saying "i want to talk to him alone." my bro left and i was dumb enough to follow him between two houses with a tree, bush, and air conditioner.
he wanted me to pull donw my pants so he could suck my dick. i kept telling him no and trying to escape, but he was heavier than me. and stronger. He somehow ended up pushing me on the ground and pulled my pants off. he ended up sucking on my dick for a second and i couldn't leave unless i did the same to him. i ended up putting his dick in my mouth but i actually ended up biting him instead. my jaw gave way.
after that he told me to never tell anyone this. i then ran home and went to the shower to wash up as best i could and never told people this.
i feel i might never be able to find true love with a girl or even be able to have sex at all.
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‹ I don’t know whether this was rape and I want a verdict so I can stop asking myself and trying to remember. Is it unconsented if he was my boyfriend ›
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This was not your fault. Men and young boys do experience sexualised violence. Such traumatic experiences can change how we view ourselves, but you do deserve to have loving relationships with women. For some people, therapy can be very helpful. Others find it better speaking with close friends or family. Others find it more helpful to research trauma responses themselves. There is no right or wrong way for you to process this experience. Just remember, this is not your fault.
Rape Crisis UK has identified some of the ways men can get support for their experiences here: https://rapecrisis.org.uk/supportformenboys.php Many local rape crisis programs have specific services for men so it is worth searching online to check (We can’t search for local programs as we don’t keep any data about people who reach out to us).