Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Dare Not Speak It’s Name.

Self disclosure: objectively, reflectively and rationally speaking, I have concluded that Fox TV is a total crock of shit. Any “news” that comes out of that channel should be pointed and laughed at. At all times.

I came across an article by Jenny Kutner for Salon which inspires this post. It revealed that Stacey Dash featured on Fox News to explain why she welcomes the “party ban” by the University of Virginia (see Jenny’s article for this story and the video of Stacey on Fox News). The Uni has enforced a ban on women attending a weekend of fraternity parties to keep them safe from male sexual violence. I’ll just leave that there as that is a whole other post.

Stacey made a lot of statements without naming the problem. Jenny explained that Stacey welcomed the #banonwomen, stating that women, particularly “good girls” will benefit from it. When prompted, Stacey claimed that the “good girls” like having rules forced upon them which keep them safe. ……..Ok. The “bad girls” have themselves to blame for being “hurt” raped as they like to “go out and be naughty” live their lives. Stacey doesn’t blame alcohol for rape but instead blames women for drinking it.

So does Stacey really believe that women are raped because they go to parties and drink alcohol? And who are the rapists? Stacey acknowledges rape and sexual violence happens to women, but never mentions who perpetrates it. I feel a mixture of sadness, anger and empathy because Stacey is not alone. Many people choose avoidance language when talking about male violence against women. It’s “domestic abuse”, “she was in an abusive relationship”…. Language is powerful and omissions hold their own power. If we don’t name the problem, we are denying the truth. We erase the experiences of women who experience male violence. Because the truth is that rape is a sexually violent crime perpetrated by men. We know this. So, why is Stacey and why are WE so quick to blame women and reluctant to name the problem?

Alcohol does not rape – MEN do.

Women are not responsible for rape – MEN are.

Why won’t we name the problem? Actually enough of this “we”. I am asking you. Start naming the problem – male violence.

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2 thoughts on “Dare Not Speak It’s Name.

  • Sara says:

    Maybe “good boys” should have rules forced on them and stay in instead of being “bad boys” who go out and party and drink and rape.

  • maria says:

    I find your post very interesting and informative :) thank you peace and love