Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Gaslighting

Understanding psychological trauma

Understanding psychological trauma The first thing to understand about trauma is that it is a unique personal experience: you can take a group of individuals exposed to the same stressor and find that the outcome for each varies considerably, according to pre-, peri- and post-trauma variables. These might include age, personality, prior trauma, cultural environment, more »

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I felt safe. (*Content note – description of rape)

This just happend about a month ago. It was a friday night/saturday morning. I’m 16 and I live with my mom and our roomate that lives downstairs with her son. My mom and the roomate work together painting houses and they were staying at our roomates relates house while working out of town. A while more »

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Our Values & Internalised Victim Blaming: An Open Discussion

Where do our values come from? Mine were instilled by my relatives, primary carers, educators and peers.  These values contribute to how we view domestic & sexual violence and abuse; they contribute to those internalised views that we hold, and those that we externalise to others. How many of us can honestly say, (and I more »

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Psychoanalyst victim blames – It Takes Two To Gaslight

Last month Red magazine carried an article. “Is there a sociopath in your life”.  Written by Louise Chunn who used to be the editor of Psychologies it is quite a good article and i did tweet them to tell them so. However there was one paragraph within which is a quote from a psychoanalyst called more »

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Victim blaming, attention seeking and Caroline Criado-Perez

Caroline Criado-Perez is good at getting herself noticed by the media. She’s the kind of person who gets hold of a single issue and won’t let go, even when others are telling her it’s not important. She lays herself in the firing line, even when she doesn’t need to. She’s an attention seeker. Feminism needs more »

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Questions For A Victim

I don’t get it. Funny thing about abusive relationships- there can be both good times and bad times. Or you hold onto the good times. You convince yourself that things are not as bad as they seem, that you aren’t as miserable, trapped and terrified as you suspect you are. You convince yourself, just as more »

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BBUK’s Daley – snapshot of an abusive relationship

Big Brother showed some awful scenes last Sunday where Daley threatened Hazel. It started out innocently enough, with a bit of drunken play fighting. But lightening-quick the mood turned sour – Daley’s mood that is. From laughing and hitting with pillows and slaps, suddenly it turned to angry swears, “do you want me to f**cking more »

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Daley & Hazel – BBUK & Domestic Abuse

Daley Ojuederie was unceremoniously removed from the Big Brother house last night after displaying threatening and violent behaviour towards fellow housemate Hazel O’ Sullivan. The exchange and events detailed on the website Digitalspy are very disturbing indeed. Not only did he use threatening language but he also pinned Hazel to the bed with both arms more »

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Nigella Lawson: DV in the Public Eye

Regular readers of my blogs will be familiar with my opinions on the issue of Domestic Violence. New readers may want to familiarise themselves with these: On the nature of abuse which I perceive that the Fifty Shades trilogy promotes; Specifically addresses the public perception of domestic violence; And backing this up with statistics. I more »

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Saatchi, A Forgiving Man?

Charles Saatchi has once again stunned me with his manipulative turn of phrase and shocking self promotion. In an open letter to the Mail on Sunday he has announced that he’s divorcing Nigella because of her failure to support him in their Scottsgate aftermath. Because SHE has failed to support HIM after he publicly throttled more »

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