Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Gaslighting

All victims need to be rescued

I had toxic parents. Once i saw a live video of a coach. She was talking about raising children.I loved what she said. She seemed like a safe person to approach. Yesterday she did another video. In it,she was totally against the idea of rescuing victims. I contradicted her. I wrote about how hard my more »

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letter to my ex

When I met you, you were warm and funny. You made me laugh; made me feel safe; talked about things I desperately wanted someone to talk to about. Stupid things and large, sweeping political things. You made sure I was ok. You helped me with things you knew I could do myself, but you wanted more »

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Ben Blakeley: A known and repeated abuser of women

Details of the cross examination of witnesses in the trial of Ben Blakeley have emerged, revealing once more the pervasive victim-blaming in cases of domestic violence against women. A known and repeated abuser of women Blakeley, 22, is on trial for murdering of his pregnant, 17-year-old girlfriend, Jayden Parkinson, in December last year. Blakeley, who more »

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my poem (surviving)

Beaten and bruised, but i still smile, Broken and cut, but still i smile, Raped and terrorized, but still i smile, Scared and hurting, but still i smile, Cooking and cleaning, and yeah, im still smiling. I look at myself and i hate what i see, cuts, bruises, burns and scars, all part of me, more »

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Survivor Privilege, Fairies, Unicorns and Other Myths – a response to George Will

Survivor Privilege, Fairies, Unicorns and Other Myths (In response to the George Will article which appeared in both the New York Post and the Washington Post, also referenced by Think Progress here: http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/06/09/3446557/washington-post-college-rape/). Washington Post pundit George Will has finally blown the whistle on the big secret – those of us who have been lucky more »

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Ally Fogg and Naming the Problem

When does it become acceptable for a group of people to own an issue? Racism has killed white people and the families who lost their child are the victims of a heinous crime. But these were racially incited incidents, not a trend. White people do not have issues to fight because of their race; as a more »

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Ally Fogg, Mankind & the erasure of male violence

I quite liked the beginning of Ally Fogg’s latest piece, about the ManKind ad purporting to show the cruel indifference of the public to the silent plight of male victims of female domestic violence. I am not a fan of advertisements or public service broadcasts which purport to be scientific experiments. […] So while I’m more »

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Abuse is not…..something that men experience just as much as women.

(cross-posted with permission from Always Hopeful) Recently an advert from the organisation ‘Mankind Initiative’ who support male victims of domestic abuse has been doing the rounds. The advert concludes with the statistic that 40% of domestic abuse victims are men.You can read an article about the advert which contains a response to it from Women’s more »

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Max Clifford’s friend says he’s innocent

So Max Clifford gets found guilty at Southwark Crown Court and sentenced to 8 years in prison. His friend, Richard Hunt, UKIP member at national level is quoted as saying: “I don’t believe that the justice system is fair. He said to me ‘Why would they put him in prison for something he hasn’t done?’ more »

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Why don’t ‘those women’ just stay away from abusive men?!

Hello, it’s Maya. I’m not sure whether you will remember me since my other postings on the site. I just want to say a bit about blame. It is probably not that coherent, because my hyper-vigilance is through the roof and I cannot concentrate. I wish it was as simple as ‘staying away’ from abusive more »

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