Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Domestic abuse

I was attacked by my husband during and after my marriage. The police said they didn't have time to investigate. They asked me if he'd strangled me. I said 'not much, just a bit during sex. I didn't like it'. They seemed disappointed.

I told my mother. She said 'you don't strike me as a 'battered wife' - is that what you're saying you are?' She grilled me for hours and didn't believe me. She told me I was an 'unreliable witness' and why did I stay with him if he was a danger? She told me I'd told her at the 'wrong time' and it was too late for her to believe me. She contacted my ex over and over again to ask him whether it was true. My word wasn't worth any thing to her. My father and my siblings sided with her, meaning my children and I don't have an extended family.

 

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