Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Victim blaming

I was in a relationship with my ex partner for 7 years. He abused me systematically through verbal, emotional and physical violence.
My 4 year old has now been down graded to child in need plan.
It seems to me that when I attend the meetings for the plan, my abusive ex partner is not referred to as an abusive person but that "we were in a 'toxic relationship" or it was the way we both behaved why my daughter witnessed him being abusive.
There was never a time when I was abusive to him, only to defend myself or become so upset that I would cry or become ill.
He has never gone onto a perpetrators course to teach him how to treat women, even though this was ordered by the court.
Probation service have not got him onto a course.
Why do the social workers blame the parent who has been damaged by an abuse person?
I'm sick to death of defending myself and him getting away with what he's done.
Oh and because I stated that I wanted him to see her in a supported environment, I am being controlling (social services words to me)

 

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