Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

time for change

I was in a dv relationship for 18 years, and even though i have my own home with my daughters im still suffering it, so all in all over 20 years and that is more than half my lifetime.

I have been let down by many agencies who have promised to help me but have not, and at times have been left in dangerous situations.

It's only recently that i have began getting help again and although its very difficult im feeling more and more empowered as each day passes.

But on days when ive had ignorant people say silly things to me like, "well if it was that bad then why didnt you leave years ago?", or "how can he rape you, you have children together?", these victim blaming statements often made me feel that i had no rights as a woman.

Because I had not left sooner or told anyone i deserved to be hit, punched, burned, kicked,and raped, treated worse than any animal?

Abusers have a way of convincing you that if you cleaned better, were a better wife or mother, or were not so rude and disrespectful these things would not happen, and up until recently i believed that.

That is why i am now so passionate about making other people aware of the dangers of dv and sexual assault.

Society tries to tell us that these things should be kept quiet and keep it stigmatized, but this has to change. If i was more aware of the help there was about i may have been able to leave my situation a long time ago, maybe........

I do feel strongly that there is not enough emphasis on the fact that dv is getting worse and alot more common but the punishments don't seem to fit the crimes.

Lots of victims are being re victimized when they try to get help from some agencies and even by the law. It's time for this to end.

Finally, I can say, I'm a survivor, and with each day still surviving, thanks for reading.


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