The Family Courts & ‘Rights’ of a Father
This post was sent anonymously by email and we have removed some identifying details due to the ongoing court case, in order to protect the OP and her children.
My story is long and complex but I escaped a very abusive and controlling husband recently. Since then he has done all he can to destroy me. Literally. Me and my children were left homeless and penniless and every ounce of strength I had I needed to keep the children safe and settled. Not in the least my son, who has additional needs.
My ex husband raped me after we had split up. He has been charged with rape and indecent assault. I was not confident or strong enough to report him until last year. The night of the assault I feared for my life. I genuinely thought he was going to kill me. He found out I had been on a date. Silly me thinking that was ok 7 months after we had separated. I cannot describe that deep fear. It is beyond words.
Upon being arrested he instigated a residence application to take my children. He stated to the court that I was neglecting and abusing the children. I assure you I was not and have not and will not ever. That was my punishment for reporting the rape. Every attempt to take back control of my own life is met with a 'punishment' I have grown to expect that.
Upon him being charged one may expect the family court and CAFCASS to be somewhat supportive of my position and have an indiction of the man's mentality. You would be wrong.
My young daughter has developed deep anxiety and intense attachment to me. She has witnessed an incident of him attacking me for which OUR son has provided a witness statement to the family court. She has also seen him shouting at me, trying to get in my front door and kicking the door. She has been diagnosed with IBS due to anxiety.
So in all those circumstances I attended court recently horrified to hear what the District Judge told me. Apparently it is my fault that she is attached to me and I am not doing enough to encourage her to see her father. Apparently I was 'making a fuss' by having a Mckenzie friend with me at court as I cannot afford a solicitor but hate even looking at that man and just wanted a friend with me for moral support. Apparently a little girls fears are not as important as a 'fathers' rights. And apparently he is the victim in this.
So the 'learned' District Judge says.
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