The Day I Lost Everything *Content Note*
You know...its funny how 1 thing can destroy your life. When i was 10 i thought humans were amazing , great people everywhere , love ,kindness , sympathy , forgiveness , passion.
Sadly our honesty , our morals , our feelings , tend to grow lighter as we grow older , i never thought a person can do cruel thing to another no matter the cause.
This is my story from when i was 10 year old boy, all i ever wanted way to play hang out with my friends and enjoy my life not thinking about the future , no fear no problems.
today i will tell the story of how i turned from that happy joyfull little boy to a scared child with a lost childhood.
When i was 10 , i woke up in the morning a beautifull summer morning it was , all i had in mind was to run outside and play. Sadly there were other plans made for me , i got off my bed changed and quickly ran to kitchen for breakfast my father and mother were gone for work , there were only me and my older Sister , after a big breakfast i ran outside to a park near by where i have been playing since i was 3 years old , Loved that place , it was a place i can call my second home.
As usual i went straight to the slide played there for a while till my freinds came , we took the ball and played togther for a while. After almost 2h of been there , it was already late , i felt the need to go to the bathroom , so i ran to it. Closed the door , minute later walking out of it , i saw a someone staanding at the door , he was a man like any other, normal looking , he had a smile on his face , i moved away from the door to let him in , thinking he just wanna use the bathroom .
Little did i know , this man was waiting for me.
Man : Hello kid.
Me: Hi sir.
Man : whats your name little boy.
Me : Eric.
Man : nice name.
Me : Thank you.
Man : can i ask a favor of you please.
Me : ( uncomfortably replied ) Yes sure.
Man : i have been working all day and im very tried , can you please help me get this stuff out of my truck ?
Me : ( relieved Replied ) Of course i will.
Man : great follow me.
Walkedd to the back side of the bathrooms where there was a street.
Man : heres the truck , get in and hand me those boxes.
Me : Ok.
Climed up the back seat of the truck and as i was about to grab the box , the man put his hand on my back and said : be quiet dont make a sound , i was terrified couldn't breath tears droping from my eyes , he then tied my hands and legs and put a piece of tissue on my mouth and got in the driver seat and drove away.
A very long drive i felt it was hours with every second passing , i felt like someone is sticking a knife in my stomach , nerves , scared , confused .
We arrived finally , he steped out of the car put a blancket on me and took me inside the house , locked me in a room for a few minutes , then he came back untied me and looked at me straight in the eye and said.
You are so beautifull , your face , your lips , your slime body are so tempting ( when recalling this now it makes me sick )
slowly he unbuttoned my shirt , and started to kiss me on the cheeks mauth and chest , after a while he started to get rough
very rough , hiss hand's were holding me so tight it was painful , then he stood up took his shirt off , he got me up on the bed.
and pulled down my boxxers and my underwearr ( silly me i had no idea what he was about to do , all i thought about is the embarassment of being naked around someone else ) he then lay me on the bed kissing my entire body , uncomfortable it got i could not stand it anymore , i gathered all the strengh and tried to move away shouting STOP!!! ( was a mistake ) he hit me with his fist on the face ( most painful thing ever happend to me).
Helpless i was laying there crying while he was enjoy satisfaying his sick needs , after around 30 minite , he got up took his pants and underwear off and turned me on my back , and raped me , enjoying the sound of my screams , i could not stand it , it was horrible. So painful , crying my heart out while been pined down to the bed unable to move.
30 minute..., 30 minute of pain 30 minute of screams , 30 minute of crying and shouting.
and he finally finished put his clothes on and walked out of the room , he came back few minite after with a camera and took pictures of me laying there in my blood and tears , he took me to the bathroom cleaned me and dressed me , put me back in the truck this time he didnt need to tie me down i was frozen in my place with an empty look in my eyes he drove to the park , stoped at the sidewalk looked back at me and said , if you tell anyone you will die and then said go play , i got out of the car and walked home , funny thing is i wasnnt crying , wasn't scared anymore i was feelling....nothing..i walked home went to my room and laid on my bed...
For 7 years i never told anyone , for 7 years i didnt have a friend i never talked in school i would just go sit there staring mindlessly, i lost my energy , my happiness that day.
What happend was a nightmare i had every night for 7 years every day pass i understand what happend to me that day and everyday pass i try to find the strengh to end my life , sadly i was too weak to do so...
a month ago i came back from the gym went on my computer and found and old story i wrote , it was just a normal love story i wrote, that what i thought , reading what i wrote when i was 13 years old now 17 made me realise there was more to that story , reading it , it sounded so different somehow i turned a love story to a way to express how i felt after that day. Thats when i decided to write this , tell someone what happened . maybe...just maybe i will feel some kind of relief doing so..
I have a message i have wanted say to the one who stole my life , for 7 years i have been playing this message in my mind
Thank you...for taking away my life , thank you for ruining my childhood , destroying my image of the world.
I would like to know what have you been thinking about when you did this to me,,,,
I would like to know how....
How...can a human be so heartless...
How...can a human be so emotionless...
How...can a human be so cruel...
How...can a human be so Shamless..
How...When...WHAT!...what happend how did humanity cease to exist ? tell me...where did morals go...where did the only thing that seperate us from animals go ? How can someone not feel sorry for someone else...HOW can someone not have sympathy...how can someone now have heart... what happend...
you know in a weird way i understand there is a urge some may have to something.. but...as strong as that urge must be.. you must be heartless...emotionless pathetic excuse of a human to cause this sort of pain to a 10 year old kid. You must have no shame...no regret...to be able to do something like this...and enjoy it...
You know even tho you did this to me, i dont want you to go to jail , i dont want you to die... i want you to live forever for the guilt of what you did...i want you to forever live with the same pain i have lived with for 7 years.
i know i will die soon..i grew older and stronger and soon i will have the strengh to end my life...
after what happend to me there is nothing in the world that can make me smile again...
i will never feel love...
I will never feel happiness...
i died that day in that house 7 years ago...
( it didnt help much to write it , but i hope someone out there like the man who did this to me , will read this and think about it when ever he try to do it to someone else...think of the victim , think of what will happen after not during it... Im sorry if this is disturbing to some...i had to atleast write it and hopefully make a diffrence when i leave this world...)
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