Shame of being a victim
When I was in my early-twenties I was at a party and fell asleep. I woke up to being penetrated by a stranger. I freaked out and left.
It didn't occur to me for five years that this was a sexual assault. I just assumed that it was another stupid drunken mistake of mine. I didn't even think to tell anyone.I knew they would say - well what was I doing getting drunk and falling asleep at a party? What did I expect?
Only after five years and worrying about being raped when my flatmates brought some male friends home, did I realise the impact this has had on me.I also developed a psycho sexual illness after the assault which took years to recover from - I blamed myself for that too, never making the connection.
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