Hi i have the same situation from 15 years.my husband is taking drugs and drinking alcohol.i can never say to anybody.he is abusing me very much.i Have no any love for him.i tried many times to kill myself but i always stopped because of my kids.my son is only 5.he can't survive without me.i hate sex because of my husband.when he start to come close to me i feel ugly inside and outside.i m Indian so because of our traditional it is very difficult for me.he has no time for sex.when he wants to do he do.in the midnight o in the early morning.against nature he always want to do sex from bottom.i cried every day.but he doesn't care.he said it is normal.i don't know how to get rid of him.i hit me ,shout me if i said i am going to leave you.he said every couple is doing same.he has no care ofme.he take drugs before sex because he want to feel something different.if i shout he said he will kill me and sometimes he is also beat me when i cry.please help me.please tell me where to go?
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