Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Raped, pregnant and partner says I must have cheated.

I was raped on my way home from work and after initially fearing I had an std I found out I was pregnant. I told mt partner of 10 years what had happened and at first he was very supportive, but then one night he dropped the bombshell that he didn't believe me because 'who rapes someone in their work clothes' and that he thinks I just cheated. He also believes that because I haven't been to the police yet that its further proof when I tried to tell him that I'm having enough dealing with the pregnancy. I feel so betrayed I don't know what to do or where to turn.

 

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2 thoughts on “Raped, pregnant and partner says I must have cheated.

  • Catherine says:

    I’m so sorry that your partner didn’t believe you. I believe you! I am a fellow survivor and I was also disbelieved on a couple of occasions. Is there someone else you can turn to?

  • lynda says:

    I am so sorry this has happened to you it doesn’t t matter what you wear it is and never your fault that you were raped on the way home from work. Your partner should have never blamed you for what happened to you. Anybody can walk home, it can happen to anyone. If your partner is blaming you I wonder have you had anybody support you from a RAPE centre or victim support to talk and go through what you have been through and how you feel emotionally about it. Sometimes partners don’t understand that when you have been raped often you fight flight or freeze and sometimes your to traumatized so much that you might not want to access help or even talk about it at this time. You have every right to decide what is right for you without being blamed by you partner to talk about what happened. It should be in your own time when you feel safe and secure that you can open up and process what has happened to you.IT WAS AND NEVER WAS YOUR FAULT, THAT IS THE PERPERTRATORS FAULT. Your amazing and strong all that you gone through and having a baby which also can be an emotional time in itself. When your ready and you will no when your ready to talk about it your partner needs to understand that you need to talk when your ready and not to be blamed by him or others. I send my love hugs to you keep safe take care Lynda