Raped And Blamed
The first time I met my boyfriend now of five months I was still seeing another man. So I went over to this other mans house, his name was chris. I went over to his house to break things off with him because I trusted him not to take advantage of me, being a small women. When I told C that I didn't want to see him anymore, he laughed and said to me "well at least let me show you what your going to be missing". I told him "No, I do not want that" I screamed and I kicked and I scratched but he pinned my wrists down and covered my mouth. After this horrible experience I went home and cried for about a week, I ignored my boyfriend A for about a weeks time because I was scared and I didn't want him to know about this incident because our relationship was still young. When I saw him again after that week all traces of the incident were gone and he asked me if I cheated on him and I said yes. Simply because it was easier to me at that time then telling him the truth. And now 5 months later I told him the truth. He instantly told me I was a liar and that it was my fault for being raped because I went over to C's house to break it off. He called me a liar, but I don't know. I am not lying I even went to the police to show him I am serious. Why is he blaming me. Why is it my fault. I am so sad that he would think that. The police can't do anything for me because I had no evidence months later. I don't know what to do or how to do it. Thank you for reading my story.
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I believe you. You are NOT to blame. You did NOTHING wrong. Your current bf sounds like a rape apologist who you would be better off without. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Please know that you are worthy of better. I hope you heal. X
What you do now is completely up to you. But I must it is not your fault! And you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
there is help out there if you need support to find peace with your experience.
This is not your fault. I too trusted a colleague and agreed to share a wine with him. He stripped to his boxers and I froze. He raped me even though I had been telling him for over 3 years that I did not want to sleep with him. I am happily married. I blamed myself for not stopping him. I had a breakdown and reported him 4 months later. My employer sacked me for harassing him (as I sent him some awful emails afterwards because I was devastated) They also said I was vindictive for accusing him of this and trying to ruin his reputation. The police say it’s my word against his (he gave a No comment statement so they released him without charge.) The whole system is geared against victims.
I believe you and I understand why you denied the rape to begin with – I did the same as I was so ashamed. This is not your shame. Please seek help.