Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

male violence explained by my boss

I work in a hotel as a receptionist and a man yesterday hit the women he was with, with the back of his hand after an argument and walked off in the lobby. Police we called the and he was arrested. I said to my manager "I hope she can get away from him its only likely to get worse" he said "well sometimes women say things to push their husbands over the edge, they know that if he hits them he will get arrested and women always have that power because a women would never get arrested for doing the same thing".

That right there is victim blaming and shows the mountain women have to climb. She was assaulted in public view and already a guy is saying "well women do...." The same thing is said about rape victims "well she..." about murder victims "well she..." Women not leaving an abuser "well she".

Last night brought it home to me, I as a woman had no doubt where the fault lay but my male boss was insinuating she could have been responsible for he own assault. That's our challenge.

I have never been assaulted but if it happens I am clear that I will be blaimed even by witnesses who saw it, by jurors in court. This happened in public in front and she was blaimed imagine if it was in the family home or in private I already have a disadvantage before I'm even assaulted.

I told him " she wasn't responsible for being hit it was his choice to do it he'll have to live with the consequences of his actions"

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2 thoughts on “male violence explained by my boss

  • Hecuba says:

    This is common male supremacist reversal because apparently males are only responsible for committing violence if and when they physically assault another male! Women according to men have no rights including the right not to be subjected to male violence because apparently males never instigate said violence against women but are merely ‘responding to female provocation!’

    Question? Why didn’t the male perpetrator just walk away instead of hitting the woman? This is what men tell us women all the time – ‘you should have left him; you should have removed yourself from his presence.’

  • Jenny says:

    Well said in your final reply to your Boss, you were right he and the man who assaulted the woman were wrong.