Lack of support after assult by friend.
I allowed a close friend and co-worker with whom I had previously had sex to spend the night because a bad storm was forecasted and he lived far away. I knew he had a couple drinks but he drinks often so I didn't think much of it. My boyfriend knew he was staying and nothing seemed like a big deal. I had made clear to him that my boyfriend and I were becoming monogamous and that he and I wouldn't be hooking up anymore. He was fine with that and we had hung out since then. He arrived and we sat at the table and talked before bed. I let him sleep in the bed because he is too tall for the couch. We chatted then went to sleep. I woke up with his body wrapped around me and he was hard. Awkward but I understand that much so I wiggled out carefully and went to sleep on the couch. We both slept for a while but unbeknownst to me he woke up and drank half a bottle of whiskey while I was on the couch. I woke up a bit later and was very cold so I went back to the bed, thinking he must be sound asleep by now. I crawled in carefully on the edge and got under the covers and went to sleep.
It seemed like everything would be fine but I woke up when his arm slid over my side and crushed me into his body. He is much bigger and stronger then I am so I said his name and tapped on his arm but he didn't say anything. I said it louder and he just rolled on top of me pressing my face into the bed. He rubbed himself all over me with one hand pushing my face down. I wiggled but he was too heavy and it was hard to breathe face down. He didn't let my face up until he tried to shove into me but my panties stopped him. He let go of my head to move them and I yelled his name but he didn't hear me just shoved the underwear aside and pushed into me. It hurt. It went on line this until he rolled me over. I clamped my legs shut and smacked his face and said his name. He said mine and I thought he was back but he just stood up unsteadily and fell into the nightstand. I sat up and just as I was about to jump up he grabbed my ankles and dragged me to the side of the bed for more. He fell asleep on top of me and I couldn't roll him off for a while, until he moved in his sleep. But then he woke up and did it again. I
He didn't remember anything in the morning and I had to tell him what happened. He was disgusted and apologized over and over. He said he could never come back to my place and that he would do anything to make it up to me. I could tell he was actually rely wrecked by his actions and that he was really sorry but that only helps so much. I had to get dressed and go to work then.
I didn't want to tell my boyfriend at all. It is my nature to bottole up my problem s and try to prevent them from affecting other people. But I really love him and didn't want to lie so I texted him to come over that night, that I needed to talk to him and didn't want it to be a text. He asked again what happened and I tried calling but he didn't answer. I said fine and texted him a short version of what happened. He said he was shocked and angry and didn't know how to deal with this. He told me I needed to call him or do something! He said he didn't want to talk and that I was starting to be too much for him. That this is why he tells me never trust anyone. He seemed to want me to press charges but I really don't want to go through the ordeal that is and have it on my record and have my whole family know and ruin the guys life completely.
He did t ask me if I was OK. He didn't tell me to leave work or insist on coming over as soon as I was off. I was hurt by his reaction. Then he said 'well if you won't do anything it looks like I will.' And he wouldn't elaborate! I was left wondering if he was calling the police or deciding to break up with me or something else all together. Then he said all he wanted was a decent normal relationship and it was always something else to worry about with me. He finally said he was happy I wasn't hurt but he hadn't asked! I was hurt, first by this former friend and now by him.
This was Thursday night. It is Sunday morning and I still haven't seen him. Now he says he's going on a mini vacation and he'll try to see me before he goes. I think he could be much happier with someone else who might be much less of a disaster than me. I love him but his reaction to this has hurt me. I don't know what will happen now.
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