it’s a shame that the human rights act in this country are not adherred to by the public bodies who are supposed to look after the vulnerable person
Does it seem that people with lived experience of mental distress don't know their own minds and make choices for themselves and their lives. Are we all constantly being manipulated by others daily from the media in society as a whole. Being a victim of sexual assault rape child abuse you think I have suffered enough. The daily pain having to fight my way through the anxiety of making my life better for me and my children to be constantly judge the way I speak or live my life. As trying to overcome the victim mentality that others impose on you at their will is forever frustrating and soul destroying. We have enough to deal with navigating ourselves through systems structures cultures often demoralising and dehumanising systems that can destroy our essence of who we are as women. I see myself as a warrior I ve been in a battle a battle to save my life that was imposed on myself for along time from others weakness and myself confidence and self belief was nearly destroy and myself i was not in mind body and soul for a time.
Rape can and does destroy others it can also make you stronger and say I don't want anymore abuse from others but others can abuse you at your will because they can. We live in a society that cares less for rape victims we are often made to feel with have committed a criminal act when we go to the people who are supposed to protect us. Their own attitudes and biased behaviours towards someone with a mental health label is destructive at the least and can add trauma to their person in front of them already traumatised. Why would women go to the police and report if it wasn't true how does it feel sitting their in front of a police officer telling your story and your feeling disgusted and dirty a shamed and guilty because of what you went through. Then the police officer makes you feel worse worthless and adds to the distress and emotional pain that your trying to deal with and navigate through the struggles that your body has been violated by another. To then be violated in a different way of not being believed all because of a mental health label by a doctor who couldn't care less or even the emotional pain because she didn't like you told everyone you lied and because of that you were then raped violated and then to add insult a report came out and then they tried to hide what she had said to other professionals. Professionals think I should get over it not talk about it they often think they haven't done anything wrong. They have treated me like a nothing something you can scrape of your shoe but I am like them a human being and deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, compassion and dignity but I wasn't and they don't want me some of them to succeed.
What is are society like when we are label like jars and discarded and blamed for someone else violating are bodies trying to destroy our minds and the essence of who we are as human beings. We hide away our fears around rape, child sexual abuse, CSE don't talk about it brush it under the carpet because we can't deal with someone's distress, emotional pain. We look at them in a alienated way that they don't belong in our society because there flawed a reject because we can't understand their pain because we can't deal with their pain. We rather label their distress and give medication that numbs makes people, so they feel their not their, when their already not their in mind body and spirit. We alienated them because we can exclude from all society, put them in a box and decide their life for them.
It's sad when all people see is what they want to see the distress, the anger, the label when someone is in pain trying to make sense what they went through and how to deal with it all step by step. In this journey of mine I have come to the conclusion that the person you only can trust is yourself and my kids because their honest with you and the many flaws you have they still love you and you love them. In my journey I have found its always others agendas more than mine and my kids and have felt violated all over again by others who were never my friend in the first place. So sadness prevails at times because of the distress others have caused me will I ever trust another who knows I hope so for now i'm not to sure I've tried but others can't be trusted. I wish I could but it's always everybody else what they want im just always been invisible since a child and even though I talk I don't think others are ever listening so sometimes I think it's better to talk to my wall as a victim of rape and domestic violence even though I have a quick temper my voice was never heard how many times you can talk if nobodies listening its not worth talking because things will never change the cultures ive come across are to embedded to listen to my small voice wanting change for every person with disabilities especially for people with mental health and learning difficulties to be treated differently when they have suffered from any sexual violence who knows I hope one day for all women men and children in our society will be treated in a more humane way and will be believed that is all anyone can ask for.
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