Is my husband right to blame me?
Last week, my husband said he will go out to have "boys night out" with his friends, and I said okay and asked his permission whether it's OK for me to have my girls night out with my friends, and he said clearly "OK, its up to you". FYI, the girls I was going out with were also his friends, and I have never been out with any friends for 5 years (that's the duration of my relationship with my husband).
Anyway, when the day came for him to have the boys night out, he suddenly told me they had cancelled it and asking me in which club I will go with my girlfriends. I asked him to join me, but he refused. He said he didn't want to disturb my night out but I kept on insisted him to join and he kept on refusing.
So I said to him, I don't want to go out anymore, but he said just go, since I have made the arrangements already, and so I asked him for one last time, is it really OK for me to go? and he said he is okay with it.
So on Saturday night I went out with my girlfriends to the club, we had a few drinks and I danced with the girls. There were numbers of men try to approach me but I nicely declined by saying sorry, I'm married..
After the night out, while I was on the way home, my husband suddenly called me and asked me "So in which hotel do you stay?" I said I'm on the way home. and he abruptly cut me off.
And then when I reached home, we had a huge fight. He said his friend told him I have been hugging and dancing with other guys, and I told him there's no such thing. I didn't do it. I even asked him to ask our girlfriends, and when he did ask and they said there's no such thing, he refused to believe them and said I might make a pact with the girls to cover for me. WTH. To make things worse he said he want to divorce me and take custody of our daughter.
I have tried really hard to make some senses out of him and keep telling him I am innocent. He said, I might be innocent but what he really mad about was that I went out that night. He said if I didn't go out at the first place this things will not happen. I told him, I went out with his permission, and he is the one keep on insisting I go through with the plan. He said I should have known better, and he said he won't say no to me, so he will always give a permission so it's up to me to make the right one.. WTF. I said to him I'm not a mind reader so I can't know for sure what he really wanted unless he tell me straight..
Then he goes on and on about the probability. He said that the probability I will fuck with other guys in the club is 80% so I should know better. and I told him how on earth I can he say that? The arguments goes on and on again. He said maybe I didn't do such thing but I have hurt him so much by went there.. I mean. really? Is it really my fault?
Fyi, when he went out with his friends to the club I didn't make such a big fuss about it. He even has a girls number in his phone whenever he come back from the club and whenever I confront him about it, he said they are just the girls selling drinks in the club. He even went out to the club while I was admitted to the hospital during my pregnancy.
Now suddenly, he blamed me for everything. He threatened me by saying that he will hurt me so badly because I have hurt him so much. I keep on defending myself saying please believe me I have never betrayed him and never will.. He keep on saying this all is my mistake.. I'm the one who went out at the first place, and I have to bear the consequences.
Now I feel that's much more to this.. I don't really think its about me anymore. maybes he know this is the only opportunity he will get from me, and he try very hard to use it. I know deep down he knew I'm innocent..
now I am really confused because whatever I said to him or how hard I was to try to persuade him, I have even begged him to listen to me.. but he keep on refusing.. I don't know what to do anymore.
Please help me..
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