IDK What To Think
I often find myself thinking about one of my past relationships, which was definitely abusive in all meanings of the word, when I'm depressed, and something has stood out to me that I never really thought about before. I'm currently with a different guy who is very sexually dominant and sometimes pushes me into having sex when I'm not in the mood, but I know he would stop if I truly wanted him to. So, I've been thinking I should probably tell him that I was raped as a child, which I've seen counselors for long ago and dealt with. But then I remembered how that past boyfriend reacted when I told him. He said "I forgive you", literally that he forgave me for being raped. I don't know if it's just how he was raised being a hardcore Muslim who grew up in Egypt or what but it definitely stung and made me feel dirty for awhile. So I'm a little afraid to tell my new man because I don't think I can deal with being told that again. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm a little conflicted.
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