Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

“I wish you’d wear more clothing”

When in a train station, a man of about 40 refused to leave my friend and I alone, he kept asking for our numbers and taking us out for a drink. Afterwards, I felt guilty for taking him up on his offer to help translate for us and I said "I'm so sorry, I had no idea that would happen, I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt."

My friend then looked at me and said, "he was looking you up and down the entire time. This is why I wish you'd wear more clothing."

Not that it matters, but I was wearing a skirt, thick tights, a denim jacket and a big jumper, and chelsea boots. What the hell did she want me to do?!?! I know nothing bad happened, but if that's the attitude I get for a man insisting on taking my number, I don't want to know how she excuses actual awful events that happen to women on a daily basis.

 

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2 thoughts on ““I wish you’d wear more clothing”

  • Suzi says:

    Your friend shouldn’t have said that. You’re not responsible for other people’s unacceptable behaviour towards you, they are and this man is old enough to know better: no means no!

  • Hecuba says:

    As usual men believe it is their male sex right to harass strange women and demand women immediately respond to their male demands. Furthermore, sadly the female friend of the woman who was harassed by this male predator has internalised male pseudo sex right to females.

    Ever wondered why men are not routinely subjected to strange males demanding the male respond to their demands? It is because men accord themselves right of bodily autonomy which means strange males do not have the right to harass other males.