Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

I think I was raped

I hope I am posting in the right area.. I just don't know what to do at this point.

I was talking to this guy a while ago and he seemed nice at first and quickly turned mean and disrespectful towards me.. so I cut it off..
Now this past weekend I saw him out at a bar we both go to..I was really drunk and he was being really sweet so later in the night when he invited me to come over I decided to get dropped off there because I was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly.. everything was okay and we were having sex and it was fine he wanted to try anal so I let him a couple times but made him stop because it hurt..and he went back to vaginal sex.. then eventually he put it in my butt again and I told him it hurt .. he didn't stop and I kept looking back at him saying please stop and he just kept going and said he was about to finish. I started to cry and whimper in pain but he kept going it felt like forever before he finished.. and towards the end I just stopped even saying anything because I just wanted him to be done. And as soon as he finished i couldn't even look at him and I told him he had to drive me home.. I just can't stop thinking about it and I don't feel right about any of it...I just wish I pushed him off or yelled or something.

 

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4 thoughts on “I think I was raped

  • Anna says:

    I’m so sorry this happened to you, Amanda. You’re right, you were raped. You withdrew consent, he hurt you and didn’t stop when you told him to. You did nothing wrong – you told him to stop. This is not your fault. Don’t torment yourself by thinking you should have done more – you did what you could in the circumstances. Consider talking to Rape Crisis for suggestions about where to get help. I’m feeling for you and sending support.

  • Alice Gorman says:

    That is so horrible, and yes, you were raped. Please don’t blame yourself for not yelling or pushing. It’s clear you were using all your strength just to endure it. What you do next is up to you but perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to see your doctor, particularly, if he wasn’t using a condom, due to infection risk. I hope you are being kind to yourself and send you sympathy and love.

  • Jenny says:

    I’m sorry this happened to you. It was not your fault. I hope you find peace and I wish there was more I could say to help.

  • Caitlin says:

    Definitely rape. You said stop – that should be enough . You were drunk.. could you really consent ? consider going to a sexual assault referral centre for professional support .
    Remember the shame is on him. He should have stopped when you asked him to.

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