I Said No He Kept Going
I had this friends with benefits relationship with this guy. I broke it off and told him that I just wanted to be friends. One night he came over to my house and we were watching Game of Thrones on my laptop on my bed. He started touching me. I moved his hand and told him no, that I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to have sex. He said okay. Time went by and he started touching me again. This time trying to get on top of me. I pushed him off of me and told him no again. More time went by and he pushed my laptop off the bed and got on top of me again. I tried to push him off of me but he wouldn't move. He told me that he just couldn't handle himself around me. After a little bit, I stopped fighting. I just wanted it all to go away as quickly as possible. I've had everyone but 2 people tell me that it wasn't rape because I didn't fight hard enough and it's all my fault. I think that I even believed everyone at one point. If he didn't rape me though, why do I get nightmares and panic attacks when his name is mentioned. I can't be in the same room with someone who smells like him without crying my eyes out and running away. To this day people tell me that it was my fault, but it wasn't. He manipulated me mentally and physically. I wish that everyone else saw it the way that I do.
We do NOT give permission for posts published as personal experiences to be reproduced, translated or otherwise published elsewhere. We will not contact people who submit their personal experiences on behalf of journalists, bloggers or other third sector organisations. These testimonies remain the intellectual copyright of their authors and must be treated with the ethical guidelines used by academics for research involving human subjects. Our full guidelines can be read here.Download this post as PDF? Click here