Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

I don’t know if I was raped

So I am actually pregnant now and have been trying to think back on the night I conceived and can't seem to recall it. There was a past incident where I woke up and my boyfriend was having sex with me while I was sleeping at the time I was so tired that we just continued to have sex. Me and him talked about having children however I am thinking now did he have sex with me while I was asleep and that's how I got pregnant? I wasn't trying to be pregnant so soon, I am very confused as to if I was raped or not I don't want to go to the police because honestly I don't want to be wrong. Like maybe it's just me having a bad memory but I don't know if I just am blocking it out or what. Because I know you have a bad memory during pregnancy but mine is worse when I try to think back to the month or surrounding months I got pregnant. Anytime I try and remember anything about him I can't seem to get a clear image. Does anyone know what this is?

 

We do NOT give permission for posts to be reproduced, translated or otherwise published elsewhere. We will not contact people who submit their personal experiences on behalf of journalists, bloggers or other third sector organisations. These testimonies remain the intellectual copyright of their authors and must be treated with the ethical guidelines used by academics for research involving human subjects. Our full guidelines can be read here.

Download this post as PDF? Click here Download PDF

Comments are currently closed.

One thought on “I don’t know if I was raped

  • Admin says:

    Consent is an active process. You cannot consent if you were asleep. This was rape. You do not have to report to the police if you do not want to. It is completely normal for people to block memories of trauma or find it difficult to process. We’ve included the free phone numbers for the UK national rape crisis helplines below if you want to speak to someone. You can also approach your GP or midwife for support. Just remember that this is not your fault and you have done nothing wrong.

    The phone lines are staffed by trained volunteers who are there to listen. You can also find local support services on their websites.

    Rape Crisis Scotland: http://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk
    Freephone 08088 01 03 02
    (Every day, 6pm to midnight)

    Rape Crisis England/ Wales: http://rapecrisis.org.uk
    Freephone 0808 802 9999
    (12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm every day, and 3-5.30pm weekdays)