Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Forgiveness (content note)

I decided when I was eighteen that the right thing for me was to face my abuser and forgive him for the sins committed against me. When I was finished, he looked at me a bit confused, and said, "Forgive me? You're the one who wanted it!" I was only 7 the first time I was raped. His answer stunned me, but that was the day I began to heal. This man did not deserve my forgiveness, but I no longer doubted that I had ever done anything to deserve the life I had as a young child.I didn't realize until that exact moment in time that the person I needed to forgive was myself for feeling so guilty for so many years that I must have done something wrong to trigger the abuse.

 

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One thought on “Forgiveness (content note)

  • Michael Weipert says:

    Abuse can cause a liftime of self harm and self blame. I am 59 and have only just understood that it wasn’t my fault. I really admire what you have written and hope you heal and blossom into the beautiful human being you deserve to be. I can only offer you my inadequate words but they are sincerely meant.