Forced to Keep the name of my Rapist
My husband raped me. We are divorced and have a child together. I no longer wish to have his name, to associate with the man who raped me and I want to have the same surname as my child.
I have been told that it is very unlikely that I will succeed in having my surname added to our child's - so our child has both our surnames.
I carried our child for 9 months, gave birth yet that is not enough of a reason to change our child's name as it has to be in the child's interest and apparently this is not.
To have my name added to his surname is, apparently, not in the child's best interest.
My child will have a different surname to the Mother who gave birth and is the main carer.
My child will have a different surname to the Mother who goes to the doctor/ dentist/ school run/ pays for clothes/ food/ loves and adores and actually raises my child.
My child will only have the surname of the man who wanted her aborted, had no connection to , did not raise/ feed/ clothe/ take to doctor/dentist/schoolrun.
The father who gives £7 a week maintenance because he claims he can't pay more.
According to the law, it is in my child's interest to only have his surname.
So I will carry on using my rapist's surname.
Because if that is the only way I get to have the same surname as the child I gave birth to, that is what I will do.
Because at the end of the day being raped by my husband is not enough, I'm now also being raped by a patriarchal legal system.
If this post doesn't make much sense, it's because wine is lessening the effect of what I am feeling.Download this post as PDF? Click here