Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Fighting the system

I was 8 when my father sexually abused me. It came as a complete shock, one part of me was in such horror and the other part of me was in denial to protect myself. My family life wasn't good at that time. My brother hit me with a hammer because of some insane personal vendetta against me, my mother neglected me and mentally abused me and all this abuse continued for 4 years until I was admitted into hospital.

The trauma and the malnourishment took it's toll and my body couldn't go through it anymore. The sad thing about this is people knew what was really going on but did nothing and those who didn't know were lied to by my family who were extremely manipulative. To make matters much worse for me my parents lied to the doctors about my mental health. Convincing them I was psychotic therefore I was placed on anti psychotic medication for 3 years and pretty much humiliated. It didn't help that the doctor bullied me for an hour to say things he could use in his diagnosis.

Fortunately for me when I left the hospital I had changed and was a stronger person. My father tried to start the abuse again but I vowed to myself it would never happen again and I made sure of it. His first attempt was met with my temper and threats to expose what he did which saw him run a mile. He never did touch me again.

Sadly though, I have very much experienced the incompetence and bullying by the Authorities, the Doctors, and also the Police. When I was 14 I decided to make a statement to the Police. My father was an ex police officer at the time, and the officer who came to interview me in my home was an ex colleague of his in the force. They both shook hands and I could tell from the start this was going in his favour.

While I made my statement my father stood outside the door and listened to intimidate me which looking back shouldn't have been allowed. Prior to that day I was taken out for the day to the coast by my parents as some attempt to manipulate me while my mother took me aside and threatened me if I made the statement. So during this interview I denied a lot of the things that happened. It was concluded that I was mentally confused and none of the abuse happened which from the evidence I gave is hard to comprehend.

I saw the officer who interviewed me, the following week. His face said it all, he took one look at my father and I knew he knew my father was guilty. It's nice to know there are officers like him who happily cover up child abuse and do nothing about it. I am not surprised a lot of children or Adults don't go to the police.

When they do make statements most of the time they are treated to behaviour by police or the courts that is so hurtful and abusive. Inconsiderate and insensitive behaviour that makes them feel abused all over again.

I hope changes can be made to the Crime Prosecution Service for the rights of abuse victims because it is inexcusable to treat a child like they have done wrong while the perpetrator goes free to abuse again. Too many mistakes are happening at the expense of the victims and it needs to stop.


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