Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Domestic abuse/coercive Behaviour

Journalists, radio, professionals edit content about Domestic abuse/violence. I can tell you the hard facts. No sweeping anything under the carpet.
Most abusers are Male. It's a fact. Research and stories. The public. Men are looked at, as being 'incharge', 'manage the money's, the main 'bread winner's, 'stronger than women's, are 'holding a meeting', 'as her to marry YOU' (if that's not Ownership!, What is).
Women are looked at as perthetic creatures who will do what is asked/told, will do the ironing, put the kids to bed, do the kids homework with them, do the food shopping, plan the weekend, take kids to the drs and what needs taking on holiday. Why aren't men doing any of these important things ?. More than half the time their doing alot more besides. But, as far as I've heard and seen.This is what's happening.
Many abusers are incharge of people at work, or are incharge of the runnings of their department. They are sexist and thrive on power. Degrading a female on their team, gives them a thrill. If someone steps in their way and challenges them. Trouble begins. They have to win the power back, by whatever means.
They can and will turn your family/friends/professionals against you. Because when you have no support, if they see you having none. It makes them happy.And you can be manipulated, at the drop of a hat. Nobody is seen to be there to protect you. If they are, they get a real surprise. They don't like it.
Professionals may fear people like this, so they go with the flow. It's easier. If it means their job will be finished on the case soon, they go with it. They don't care. Victims are ignored. Then issues crop. Dad is doing this, doing that. How can he be if he's busy at work. Mother isn't working, she must be the culprit. She has time to cause trouble. He cheated on her. He did this . She's out for revenge. Utter rubbish.
Child is seen in school crying. He won't say why. Teacher sees mum collecting more. So, guess what. Mum is blamed. Dad drives a nice car and wears smart clothes, so he must be genuine. False. It's all a show, controlling the situation.
Child is late for school a few days, child looks tired. Mum is the main carer, must be her fault. Dad has infact had the child up until nearly midnight at his house and hasn't provided for him , but child says nothing until mum has already been accused of neglecting them. Dad is in a good job. Let's remember that. But mum is on a college course, helps her parents, has been a single mum for 5 years. Her partner works way alot. She can't be coping professionals say. They are all wrong.

 

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