Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Do we create our own reality? Really?

A woman is walking down the street and she is raped. Somebody told me that she created her own reality. According to that person,she attracted that type of man because she had a victim mentality,so men could see from a distance that she was an easy prey. To me personally, this statement seems very wrong, like saying that any type of abuse is the victim's fault. My intuition tells it's a toxic way of thinking. But,having been abused myself (although not sexually,but verbally and emotionally), i don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore. 33 years of abuse left me confused. Am i misinterpreting that person's opinion about reality being created by us? If that were the case, then there would be no more abusers in the world. So,is it victim blaming or not?


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3 thoughts on “Do we create our own reality? Really?

  • Admin says:

    This is a clear example of victim blaming within a rape culture. The only person responsible for rape is the rapist. NOTHING a victim does or dress or acts makes them responsible for the actions and choices of the rapist.

    • laura says:

      So my intuition was correct! Thank you so much for your validation! In my opinion,both an already abused woman AND a woman who was never abused and who always had only healthy relationships,they both have an equal risk of being raped.It’s not true that the rapist “smelled” her vulnerability due to her previous trauma.

  • Hecuba says:

    Male sexual predators view females as suitable sexual prey because the potential victim’s sex is female! So why do males believe it is their male sex right to sexually prey on females? Because males give themselves the right and their male supremacist legal system justifies this male sex right.

    So are males responsible for provoking\causing a male to steal their car; their money or their property because the male felons innately knew the male was ‘asking to have his money\property\car stolen? I think not which is why men created male supremacist laws to protect men from other men.

    We women have no such legal protection because we are apparently responsible for male sexual predators’ choice a nd agency to commit violence against us. Win win again for the male sexual predators because they aren’t accountable for their violence against women and girls!