Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Child Sexual Abuser

I was assaulted by a child sexual abuser at the age of 10. I didn't speak out at the time, as I thought his children would end up in care and that would be my fault.

That was the wrong decision, but obviously not a decision any ten year old child should ever have to make. Years later I realised I had to go to the police, as I could not live with the thought of him hurting other children.

He was arrested, but the CPS wouldn't prosecute as there wasn't enough evidence for a conviction. Every day I'm reading horrific cases of CSA and cover ups and it made me realise I have to speak out, so I can hopefully give other victims the courage to speak out.

Vast majority of victims have taken what has happened to them to their graves, which is appalling. My counsellor said I was the only CSA victim she had ever spoken to who didn't feel 'ashamed and dirty'. Knowing that spurs me on.

I went on twitter in May and I'm not coming off until our government grow a backbone and give CSA victims the justice they so richly deserve. Child sexual abusers thrive in the knowledge their victims are too traumatised to ever speak out. I want victims to try and find the courage to speak out, because when they have finished with you, they go on to their next victim. If, by speaking out, one person comes forward it has been worth it.

 

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4 thoughts on “Child Sexual Abuser

  • sunnyclaribel says:

    I think reading victim’s stories will help others come forward. Every person’s experience is obviously different, but at the end of the day every CSA victim are traumatised by the abuse. I wish I had a magic wand to give every one of them ‘justice’, but I haven’t. If I was a Member of Parliament I would do a hell of a lot more than has been done. My view on life is ‘You cannot change the past, but you can change the future’ and that is why I’m fighting on twitter for future generations of kids, as well as the present victims.

    People who call it a ‘witch hunt’ are people who have no idea how hard it is for victims to speak out and be heard. Generations of victims have taken what has happened to them to their graves. I say ‘enough is enough’. I feel it is every grown up’s responsibility to protect children from these monster. If we don’t, then we don’t have the ‘right’ to call ourselves civilised.

  • Andrea Davison (@beforethestars) says:

    Thank you for your moving story I fully agree with you. As adults we have a duty to protect the children of today and of the future from abuse by exposing the past abuse and the cover-up of same. Those of us who have gone through abuse and been strong enough to rebuilt our lives. Strong enough to have kept the flame of love alive in our hearts have a duty to use that flame to light a fire which will tear away the veils of darkness behind which these evil abusers hide.

    • sunnyclaribel says:

      Totally agree with you Andrea. ‘Paedophiles’ thrive because they leave their young victims so ‘traumatised’ and ‘frightened’, it can take decades to find the courage to come forward, if at all. It is obviously a revolting subject, but I think parents and schools need to teach children that these monsters do exist and to always speak out if they come into contact with one.

      When alleged paedophiles are arrested their favourite saying seems to be ‘It is a witch hunt’. No, it is CSA victims finally finding the courage to come forward to receive justice and closure. The second favourite saying is ‘Why didn’t they come forward sooner, if I am guilty’? The answer could be because that person has scared the hell out of them and that is why.

      Paedophiles thrive on secrecy. Don’t let them. They are all complete cowards, who never seem to face up to the horrors they have inflicted on their poor victims, they just worry about being caught.

      • Admin says:

        Thanks for your comment – and for sharing your experience with us.

        We think child sexual abusers are demonised by the media (and others, but the media have a huge responsibility with this issue). Sadly, they are not easily identifiable ‘monsters’, they are ordinary men with ordinary lives, who sexually abuse children at the same time as having those ordinary lives.

        We need to be talking about masculinity, we need to be talking about entitlement, we need to be talking about why men believe that they can abuse children and get away with it.

        Only by talking about it, will we break the silence.

        Thanks to commenters, those sharing their experiences and supporters of our campaign for joining together to make our voices heard.