Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Blamed in online forum

I recently came forward about my experience with sexual harassment, among other things, in an online forum.

All the commenters were male and they blamed it all in me by saying I was too sensitive, it's probably all my imagination, I should give people 2nd chances, ect.

One person even said I a manipulator by being a victim, and also that I'm an oppressor not the oppressed.

Another person purposely misquoted me in the forum by deleting things that I wrote and tried to make it look like I said something I didn't say because they wanted to make me look bad.

I thought coming forward anonymously online would be a safe thing to do but I guess not.

I've tried to come forward in real life too and Ive been met with the same reactions.

No wonder so many women are silent about their pain.

I think the worst thing is for someone is to not be able to trust their own thoughts.

How dare someone tell you that you're too sensitive or that it's just your imagination when they haven't even been through what you've been through.

I've been called crazy simply for standing up for myself. I think abusive personalities love to make the other person feel like they're the problem, because the abuser is too much of a coward to apologize and own up to what they did.

I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with the idea that there are evil people in the world, so instead of accepting that and believing the victim they want to make the victim feel like they're paranoid.

All the women who tell their story can't all be crazy. There is a real problem going on here.

Don't be silent about your pain, speak up about your experiences because it may help someone else come forward.

Don't let people who haven't felt your pain try to tell you how you really feel.

The way you feel is there for a reason, trust your gut. If something feels wrong then it is.


We do NOT give permission for posts published as personal experiences to be reproduced, translated or otherwise published elsewhere. We will not contact people who submit their personal experiences on behalf of journalists, bloggers or other third sector organisations. These testimonies remain the intellectual copyright of their authors and must be treated with the ethical guidelines used by academics for research involving human subjects. Our full guidelines can be read here.

Comments are currently closed.

2 thoughts on “Blamed in online forum

  • Jenny says:

    We are blamed and silenced all the time, but slowly and surely our voice is rising up to be heard, so I say well done you for speaking out, they are inevitable with their attempts to shut you up, but you know the truth, and I believe you.

  • Suzi says:

    Well I believe you and well done for standing up for yourself and refusing to back down.