All victims need to be rescued
I had toxic parents. Once i saw a live video of a coach. She was talking about raising children.I loved what she said. She seemed like a safe person to approach. Yesterday she did another video. In it,she was totally against the idea of rescuing victims. I contradicted her. I wrote about how hard my childhood was and how badly i needed somebody to rescue me. As an adult,i still need someone to help me go from low contact to no contact with my abusive parents. She replied very rudely: "You ask for a free ride on somebody elses'back. Don't contaminate others with your misery. Rescue yourself. That's what i did and nobody came to my rescue. On the contrary,i kept silent about my abuse.In order not to ruin others' day, i always showed a happy face". Practically,she was saying that victims have no right to speak and that we must be positive in order to be accepted by society. I explained to her that a traumatised brain doesn't have the same life skills in comparison to a brain that was not injured. Also,most abusers are very dangerous when the victim tries to go no contact. I want to do it,but i know what would follow.My narc parents would stalk me on the street and i would not be safe anywhere. That's why i need somebody to be there for me in very practical ways. I need that person to support me morally and to go with me to the police or even to court,if need be.In fact,i know somebody very caring and compassionate. But now i hesitate to call him and ask for help.I feel ashamed for needing help and i'm terrified of rejection. Is it victim shaming to put somebody down for needing to be rescued? Was the coach right?
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