Advice needed – should he be upset with with me?
I went over to visit my cousins for the weekend and we all drank and partied together. My cousins boyfriend saw that I was incredibly drunk and looked at his brother and told him this was his opportunity and to take advantage of it now because he's a virgin.
Long story short everyone at the party is laughing about and forces his brothers pants off and pulls my hands onto grabbing his brother's penis. He tried to force me to give him a handjob and I smacked him right across the face and they let me go.
They were all just laughing and my cousin didn't do anything about it and later blamed me as if it were my fault that I grabbed it. Her boyfriend blamed me for grabbing it too (the next morning). I was so confused on the stories they told me and later found out by his step brother that they lied to me on what really happened.
My cousin's boyfriend blamed me and called me a bitch and argued with me about joking and that I shouldn't be angry because I touched his brothers penis even though I was forced into it and I was so drunk I was practically passed out.
I told my boyfriend the story and he's calling me a cheater and he blames me for getting drunk because had I not drank it would not have happened. I'm severely traumatized by this entire experience because when I was little I was sexually abused/assaulted by my sisters godfather and I never told anyone because I was scared noone would believe me.
Last year I guess her godfather tried the same thing on her and my sister told my mom immediately. Which is when I finally confessed he sexually touched me without my consent and would come over my house all the time to see me.
I just feel hurt that my boyfriend keeps blaming me and I regret drinking but at the same time when I was little I was sober obviously and it still happened. My boyfriend is giving me the cold shoulder and isn't even acting like he loves me at the moment because he's mad that I went against what he said and drank.
It's not like I'm an alcoholic. I rarely ever drink. And after 2 nights ago I don't ever want to drink again.
Please help me and I need advice because I don't know what to do. My family keeps telling me "family is family". But this is just traumatizing. Sexually assaulted and than blamed.
And than I remember why I never tell anyone these things because getting blamed and nobody believing me is the worst feeling in the world. I already feel dirty because of what happened, and my boyfriend being upset with me isn't making me feel any better because he believes its my fault since I drank.
I really don't want to break up with him because I truly believe he's my soulmate but he's not even taking into consideration how I feel about this.
He just sees it as me cheating. Is this my fault? Should he be upset with me?
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